Thursday, January 29, 2015

What Should Be In: Overcoming an Inferiority Complex

When I post something on a social media website, such as Facebook, I check my notifications consistently to see how many likes, or comments my post has gotten.  After, say, about three days, I look back at that post and see the status of it; I am often disappointed with it.
Later, when I go through my news feed and notice that someone else's post received 100 likes, I immediately compare it to my posts, and think of how inferior I am to that person. Jealousy also starts to take over my emotions, I feel like I should be happy for that person. I mean how exciting is it for 100 people to notice something that you posted, but I still can't help the feeling of inferiority.

Apparently, I am not the only one who struggles with these negative emotions and Facebook, according to an article in Time Magazine: "The scientists studied 600 people who logged time on the social network and discovered that one in three felt worse after visiting the site—especially if they viewed vacation photos."

So where do we get these emotions?
Well according to Rajeshwari N. Kenchappanavar's article: Relationship between Inferiority complex and Frustration in Adolescents,
"Inferiority complex arises when a person finds himself in a situation where his abilities and attitudes are denigrated or rejected by other people [3]. Inferiority complex is a magnification of natural feelings of inferiority and results when strivings to overcome inferiority are greatly hindered. Anything in the individual that is below the average, that provokes unfavourable comment or gives him a feeling of impotency or ineptitude leads to inferiority complex"

An inferiority complex resulting from Facebook could be a subconscious feeling of rejection when people didn't click "like" on your status.  It's not that they are publicly or purposely rejecting you, but subconsciously it feels like they are. Now, most of us probably aren't severely plagued with an inferiority complex, however, we can still see where these feelings can come from.

So how can we help ourselves stop the cycle of the inferiority complex?

This is from an article from the American Psychological Association, it seems that we can help ourselves by not focusing on ourselves, but on a higher goal.  
"We really think that if people could adopt goals not focused on their own self-esteem but on something larger than their self--such as what they can create or contribute to others--than they would be less susceptible" to some of the negative effects of pursuing self-esteem, Crocker says. "It's about having a goal that is bigger than the self.""
I feel like this could mean working towards your calling in life, or something as simple as doing a good deed. 

Here are three ways to help you stop the cycle of inferiority and start focusing on positive attributes of yourself and others.

1.) Prayer.  When I start comparing myself to another person, praying helps me clear my mind and gives me a feeling of satisfaction. 
First, I thank God for the person that I am feeling the negative emotions toward, and thank Him for the things He as gifted them with or has given to them.
Second, I thank him for three positive things/gifts that he has given to me.
Third, I ask for the feelings of worthlessness and insecurity to be taken away. 

2.) Love yourself, love others.
Take some "you" time, it could be something as simple as looking in the mirror and complimenting yourself on an feature of yourself.  For example, "Your eyes look amazing with the shirt you have on" stuff like that, but don't turn into Narcissus! ;)  However, nothing can be more satisfying than volunteering somewhere!  It helps your community and yourself become better and grow.

3.) And finally decide not to let these negative thoughts make you feel inferior.  As Elinor Roosevelt once said: "No one can make you feel inferior with out your consent"   

~ Anna

Here are the links to the sites I referenced above:
Time Magazine
Rajeshwari N. Kenchappanavar's article
American Psychological Association

Also, the quote/picture is from Pinterest, if you would like to check out my business Pinterest click Here

Friday, January 23, 2015

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Accessories, Accessories, Accessories...

I don't know about you but when someone has taken the time to add accessories to their outfit, I totally fall in love with it.

It seams in our busy lives we tend to forget, or say we are "too busy", or "not experienced enough" to add embellishments to our clothing.

I can totally understand all three of those points, however I think it is important to add minor details to our outfits to make them more personalized.

When I add accessories to an outfit, it helps me to think of a theme.  For example, if I was going to the premiere of The Hobbit at my local movie theater, I might try to do a modern interpretation of an elf.  In this case I might wear some earthy jewelry with a leafy metal headband.

If you are afraid of adding too many accessories, just add the basics (earrings and a necklace) and then add one more item (such as a broach or a bracelet).
Over time when you feel more comfortable with that quantity you might want to add more accessories to you everyday list.  Trial and error comes with finding your own style, but don't be discouraged, overtime you with get to know what you are comfortable with and are not.

Here are some of my favorite accessories.

Have a great day!
~ Anna 

Friday, January 16, 2015

How to Add Fringe Tutorial and Vlog no.3

Here is the promised scarf tutorial!

What you will need:

       *Something to add fringe to (scarf, t-shirt, ect.)
       *A half yard strip (as wide as you want you fringe to be long) of knit fabric (you might need more or less depending on how much fringe you are adding)
       *A large needle

Step 1: 
Cut 1/4in wide strips of fabric. To make this easier on yourself fold of the fabric lengthwise in half and then in half again. (this will save on cutting time)

Step 2

Step 2: 
Partially thread your needle with a strip. 

Step 3
Step 3: 
Insert needle into the fabric.

Step 4
 Step 4: 
After pulling the strip three quarters of the way through, insert needle back into the sames hole. (make sure that there is still a "loop" on one side and two "tails" on the other)

Step 5


 Step 5: 
After making sure the "tails" are even pull them through the loop to make a knot. 

In the end your fringe should look like this!

Have a great weekend all! 

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

What Should Be In ~ no.3 Knickerbockers!

I personally love, love, love these pants!

I adore how they are modest because of their loose gathered look and how they have a little vintage flair to them, plus I think that they are pretty versatile to use for many looks such as Bohemian or Steampunk.

As far as styling, it looks like you need:
           1.) A shirt that looks amazing when tucked into pants
           2.) Some fancy looking shoes with cool socks or boots
           3.) An added detail such as a coat, hat or vest
           4.) Cool accessories that bring out your look

Here some different examples of knickerbockers:

Have a good night! ~ Anna

Friday, January 9, 2015

6 Different Ways to Tie Scarves ~ Vlog #2

Hi all!

I hope you all had an amazing winter break!  I, for one, thoroughly enjoyed mine. :)

Thank you so much for your comments, they are such an encouragement to me!

This week's vlog is a tutorial on how to style scarves.  
I thought it would be appropriate for winter time.  
Probably because where I live there is about 6 inches of snow on the ground and scarves are more of a necessity than a fashion requirement.

I really hope you enjoy this vlog, if you have any questions or ideas please feel free to comment!

Have a great weekend!

Monday, January 5, 2015

Modesty Discussion... One shoulder dresses.

Hi all!

Sorry for the long break, I hope you had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

I have been thinking about one shoulder dresses lately...

I was wondering if in some circumstances they are modest? 
For example, if you were going to a fancy dinner party or if you were in a wedding party, would this be acceptable? 

I'm not talking about any old one shoulder dress, but one that would cover your chest and back properly. 

Like the dresses above, my ideal one shoulder dress doesn't show any cleavage and not that much skin.

I also love a one shoulder dress with a "support" strap to help stop the dress from falling.

So what do you think?

Do you think one shoulder dresses can be modest? 

Let me know; I always love hearing your thoughts!