What Should Be "In"

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

This is who I am...

I am a very paper organized person.

I like goals. I like lists. I like to make deadlines and due dates…

The problem I seem to have is actually following those goals after I put down my pen.

If I went through my house and gathered up all the goal lists I have ever made… well that would be pointless, because most of them are probably lost in my cluttered mess I like to call my bedroom. Anyway, if I did it would be a mile high. If from that stack I pulled all the lists I had completed at least half of the items on, I would probably end up with a less than 10%.

Long story short, I’m a planner, not a doer.

Just take a look at my old blog “The Imaginative Whimsy”… That basically describes the blog. I had one post. ONE POST!!! (may I just add that the post said “I plan to blog at least once a week”) HA! That’s funny.

I have major OCD issues with perfection. Not only does my life have to be perfect, I have to be perfect. That means: no mess-ups, no sinning, NOTHING short of perfect.

So I have a problem. I have BIG goals, but I will never meet them as quickly, tidily, or as perfectly as I planned.

This is my “perfect” life I had planned for myself: a tidy room, a perfect high school experience, to be beautiful every stinking moment, and to be an expert in all the conquests I set out to learn, to name a few: horsemanship, piano, ballet, guitar, voice, sewing, sculpting, painting, acting (I should have two Grammys by now), drawing, rabbit raising, blogging, writing, movie making… The list goes on.

Basically, I am the worst type of perfectionist.

I try to make my life perfect, which is never going to happen.

Plus, if I did meet all these goals… Where would I need Jesus?

If I didn’t mess up. Had, what I considered, a perfect life, where would I need Him?

Long story short. I’m not perfect. I will NEVER be perfect. And that’s OKAY.

Because the ONE who is, is always right beside me.